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20101031

Further Bullshit for Sunday

Ran across the new Slash / Fergie video on the intranet (yes, I know that it is internet - but I prefer "intranet" - so blow me) .... It is quite delightful. It's basically about a smoking hot stalker / groupie who lives in a shit hole that is infatuated with Slash and she hunts him down while looking extremely hot and whatnot.

Pictures below are screen captures from Egotastic




The video is on Egotastic and you can get in on YouTube...

Slash is better than ever with his new music and Fergie is just..... well... Fergie.
Check out Slash's website http://slash.ultimate-guitar.com/

And Fergie's website http://fergie.blackeyedpeas.com/

I've heard several comments about how Fergie has a "butter-face" and stuff like that.... I think she is rather attractive and has an amazing body regardless... you can decide for yourself.

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And some news on the Chelsea Handler sex tape from Egotastic and RadarOnline

"I'm no big fan of Chelsea Handler. She seems like a cool chick to grab a beer with, but her upper limits of talent are Britney-Spears-is-a-mess jokes. Heck, when he's sober, even my sexually ambiguous poda-masseuse, Riley, can knock out a decent Britney Spears slam. But one thing Riley definitely can not do is create asex tape that anybody would care to see. The Chelsea Handler sex tape is quite different. The world has been buzzing over this bit of forthcoming celebrity boot knocking for some time now. Thanks to our friends at RadarOnline, we have our first uncensored look at the boob-shaking, trunk junking of the current darling of the television talk show, Chelsea Handler.
According to RadarOnline's exclusive story, the full Chelsea Handler sex tape is to be released any moment now by an as yet unnamed party. But Radar was kind enough to share the first views of Chelsea Handler nude with Egotastic! so readers can be the first at their place of work or schooling to tell their buddies, 'Hey, you know that Chelsea Handler chick? Yep, saw her getting her 3,000 mile tuneup.' Hey, we're not CNN. We give you the important stuff.
We'll update as the situation warrants (that's official speak for when we can see more boobs.)

From Egotastic.com and Radaronline.com

And a different take on the Katy Perry video.... from CollegeHumor





Caught Masturbating






Douche


Finger Babies


The Lohan... again


Misc Shit for Sunday

I mentioned this awhile back. Hope it comes out soon, it looks fkn hilarious. And I'm not just excited cuz it has the Lohan in it....that's just an added bonus - You have to wait for the ad to play first....








And I am going to patiently await the DVD release of the single greatest film ever made....
which coincidently has the Lohan as well..... 









Now, some misc bullshit for your enjoyment






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AND FINALLY - Some "News" that links the Lohan and the heir to it all - Miley
From
HolyTaco


Michael Lohan Emails Billy Ray Cyrus

October 28th, 2010 | 04:30 pm

Michael Lohan Billy Ray Cyrus
Well played, Billy Ray. Well played indeed!
I didn’t know you had it in you! I look at your stupid haircut and listen to your moronic redneck drawl, and I think to myself, “Jesus Christ, how does this rube even manage to walk upright, much less make millions and millions of dollars.” But I see now how wrong I was. I give credit where credit is due, and Billy Ray, you have earned a shit-ton of credit. And it looks like you’re about to cash that credit in on an endless supply of 18-year-old poontang.
When I heard you were getting divorced, it didn’t move me in the slightest. First off, I don’t give a damn about you or your family. Second, a celebrity getting divorced is the equivalent of a seagull taking a shit, which is to say it happens every five minutes. Been there, done that. But as I was repeatedly subjected to the story during the 24-hour news cycle, I began to realize the genius of your decision.
billy ray cyrus and miley cyrus
First of all, your daughter Miley turns 18 next month. I don’t have to tell you what that means. The gravy-train is over. I know from experience. Now that your meal ticket is officially an adult, I don’t imagine she’ll need daddy around to cash her pay checks. Had you gotten a divorce when she was 12, or 16, you might have run the risk of losing out on all that “Hannah Montana” money. But you held out until the end, and now you’re having the court "equitably divide the marital estate." I bet you are, my friend. Smooth.
Second, you're asking for joint custody. Another no brainer, but since I thought you had no brains, I am impressed. What if lightening strikes twice? If one of your talentless hill-babies can get their own show, why not a second? Even if they can’t sing a f*cking note, the name alone will get them in the door. So what if they crash and burn (the little one, in particular)? You’ll get the money upfront. Even if they only make a fraction of what Miley made, you’ll do alright. After all, 5% of a gazillion is...well, it’s a lot of friggen money.
Billy Ray Cyrus Fist Pump
But it’s the third point in your plan that impresses me the most. I know you rednecks like ‘em young, so it must have been very difficult for you to wait for the age of consent laws to expire. And to be clear, I’m not making an incest joke (although I really want to). Far from it. For four long years, your daughter has been watched by millions of young girls on the Disney Channel. And you, Billy-boy, were playing her loving, steadfast father the whole time. That means that for the past four years, millions of young, impressionable girls who are the same age as your daughter have been looking up to you as a strong, male role-model. For half of these chicks, you’re the closest thing they’ve had to a dad. You’ve been in their home, week after week, since 2006, and now they’re about to start turning 18! My god, you’ll be able to walk into any strip club in the Western world and have your pick of the litter. Find any girl born in 1992 who has “daddy issues,” and you’ll have her spreading faster than Parkay! And each year, the pool will grow as girls born in '93, '94, and so on come of age. You’d be a fool not to leave your wife, and you are clearly not a fool.
You come across as a big, lumbering ox who yodels uninspired country crap, but deep down is the heart of a champion. You bought, when other men would have sold. You knew that slow and steady wins the race. Where as weaker men would have cut and run with some hussy after the first few million, you built your empire, and waited for your harem to mature as one waits for a fine wine. You sir, are a god among men. I salute you. Call me sometime. I’m sick of hanging out with Jon Gosselin.
MiLo

Well said, Sir. Kudos

Who says "kudos"? you may ask....
I do, bitches, I do.




Sunday's Lohan update !!!!

This fkn headline caught my eye on Google this morning....

"Christina Aguilera Has a Threesome with Lindsay Lohan's Girlfriend"

Now that is a the way to get my attention.




LILO Needs to Pay Bills While Xtina Acts like a Horny College Freshman with Her Girlfriend

Christina Aguilera, whose impending divorce is being blamed, at least in part, to her lesbian love affairs, is said to have had a threesome with Lindsay Lohan's ex Samantha Ronson; Lohan herself
 has been offered a job in the porn industry with Tube8; the Facebook based rumor claiming that there is a Lohan sex tape online may not be true.




THIS AD CAME WITH THE STORY-Makes my shit look quite professional, yes? It was Chevron, then the next time I looked it was NetFlix or some shit and just now I previewed and it was flowers.... so who knows what it is now. 



Lately it seems that everything that goes on in the entertainment world could be traced back to either a sex tape or Lindsay Lohan. It stands to reason, it seems, that eventually a story involving Aguilera would blend in with a story regarding porn and a sex tape.

When news broke earlier this month that Aguilera was divorcing husband Jordan Bratman, it was followed quickly by allegations that Aguilera is bisexual and that her attraction to and relationships with women created a rift in her marriage. While nothing has been either confirmed or denied, the stories involving Aguilera's alleged Sapphic relationships seem to be coming fast and furious. Today it was reported that DJ Samantha Ronson, who dated Lohan on and off for a while, is claiming she had a threesome with Aguilera and an unidentified third party.

Ronson's manager Marlon David told The Sun newspaper, "Sam said she had a threesome with Xtina (Aguilera's nickname) in Mexico last month, that's when she realised she was a 'hot piece of ass'. Sam said Xtina is 'horny as a college freshman'." 


Looky here:
This is most likely a bunch of B.S. but it does make for fine news. I could do without the customary shortened / odd nicknames like LILO or Xtina, but the idea behind this little tidbit of "news" is quite eye-catching.
Sure, the Ronson chick is not a HOT lesbian; as they are a rare breed unless you live inside a porn movie. She is more of the run of the mill lesbian that you run across on a day to day basis out on the street (a.k.a. Rough Looking). But the other two wenches in the story make it intriguing (a.k.a. Fucking Hot). Let's take a little look, shall we.....






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Well..... after examining the pictures I have come to realize that i totally forgot what this was supposed to be about.... Fuck it!

That's all for now





20101029

the Creepy Dude and his Real Doll

Howard Stern's show made the Real Doll  semi-famous several years ago when the inventor of these fkn things sent them one. Several of the Stern show cast members has various "sexual" encounters with it back in testicular radio days. Earlier this year the company sent another one to them and they made fun of it for a few days but it was basically forgotten. I myself have spoken of people who have these types of things and I am not one to judge but I think it's a little off. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about people doing whatever they want and if you and your partner want to do some crazy shit that's just badass (I've seen some pretty damn cool shit myself, but won't share those stories now, saving them for my book or later); but if a guy fucks a doll..... that's just odd to me.
On the Jason Ellis show today (Sirius satellite radio - Faction 28), RawDog mentioned a news story about one of the people who have one of these fkrs and it got me to thinking.
Here's part of the story from Asylum:

"Let's pretend, for a second, you're a lonesome guy who has bad luck with women. You buy an upscale silicone love doll and grow attached to "her"; but, after a decade of lovin', she starts to fall apart. 

What's a man to do?

If you're 37-year-old Michigan telemarketer Dave Cat, you have the $6,500 rubber lady "reincarnated." Which is to say, you commission an exact replica of her to be stripped, molded and painted. And you bring her back from the freakin' dead.

Dave considers himself a "doll husband" and hasn't dated a flesh-and-blood woman since he bought his Real Doll -- a synthetic female with a skeletal frame, joints, and rubber sex organs -- in July 2000.

So imagine his sense of horror when, a few months ago, he noticed an 8-inch tear in her lower back, where her plastic hips connect to a spine. "She was literally bed-ridden," he tells Asylum. "I couldn't take her downstairs, and the sex was very limited."

Worried, he called Real Doll founder Matt McMullen, who is the mad scientist of the sex-doll industry. "He asked us to save her,'" McMullen says. "To me it was really touching." 



Hold up a second here..... This fucker has not even dated a woman since 2000. He has only been fucking this doll.

To continue with the story:



Dave carries her photo in his wallet (she's posing in a gray skirt), buys her clothes on eBay (skimpy latex get-ups) and spends Sundays canoodling with her on a loveseat in the suburbs (where they watch a lot of spy movies). To show his love, he even bought her a wedding ring.

Although he regularly has sex with the 80-pound doll (more on that later), to him, her primary function is companionship. "People are so unpredictable," he says. "She is a forgiving, accepting partner, which is incredibly hard to find in an organic woman."



This fucker bought a sex doll a wedding ring. I am not one to fall to the masses with their bullshit shortened phrases used for texting and all that bullshit but I will make an exception here....
WTF?

to continue again - sorry for the interruptions ......



Dave first noticed strange feelings about inanimate objects as a boy. When, as an adult, his live-in girlfriend turned out to be a pathological liar and a cokehead who stole some of his belongings, he stopped investing time and energy in human women.



Sorry, can't help it. This fucker dated a liar and a cokehead that took some of his shit so he started fucking a doll...... I have dated cokeheads and other types of miscreants several times (yes I used the word MISCREANT - I kick ass) and have had loads of my stuff taken by various females over the years and not once have I entertained the idea of fucking a fucking doll. 
To continue again.....



He heard about Real Doll in the late-'90s and first tried to get a loan to buy Sidore, but bankers denied him. After pinching pennies, he picked out her body and face from dozens of choices and purchased her for $5,000 in 2000.

The day she arrived in the mail, Dave had sex with her. True to life, the first time was a little awkward: She was stiff, and he didn't know whether she could bend certain ways. The way he puts it, "You're not going to pick up a violin for the first time and play a sonata."

These days he uses a lot of lube and warms her under an electric blanket before sex.



FUCK!!!!

continuing:



Dave's family doesn't approve of his "wife." Also, emotional bonding with an inanimate object has an obvious downside: "I can't take her to concerts, films or, you know, Best Buy."

But he's happy with his decision to send his lady in for retooling. After he paid a discounted price and waited a few weeks ("It's the longest we've ever been apart"), a brand-new Sidore arrived at his home this past May, nearly identical but 20 pounds lighter and with a fairer skin tone.

Chances are, he won't need to have her reincarnated a second time, since Real Dolls are no longer tin-based and have a longer "shelf life."

And if a real girl comes along someday? Dave says he's not looking for anyone with a pulse, although he admits he wishes Sidore could make sushi, drive him to work and accompany him to the pet shop.



This fucker's family doesn't approve.... I WONDER WHY NOT? HE IS FUCKING A DOLL AND BOUGHT IT A RING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


You wondering what this fucker looks like?
Here ya go

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Wow! I really don't know what to say anymore.... he is one of the creepiest looking fkrs I've seen in awhile... but then again, he is fucking a doll.....


I just don't know what to say other than:
Walter Eugene, the website is http://www.realdoll.com/

Peace Out Bitches!




Damn You Gap Toothed Girls Part 2

Some more Gap Toothed wenches

Anna Paquin

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Vanessa Paradis

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Georgia Jagger

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Damn You Gap Toothed Girls

I have been accused in the past of perhaps having some type of attraction to women with "Busted Ass Grilles"*.
(B.A.G. is not my term, I am borrowing it from a friend).  I will admit that there is a slight attraction to some people, such as Patricia Arquette, that do not exactly have perfect smiles and pearly whites.
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And there have been a couple of girls that I dated in my career that could possible have had very slight imperfections, but this is not about them. This, my friends, is about Lara Stone.
Who is Lara Stone? Well by Golly ya fucks I didn't know either. So I did what we all do. I Googled here. I Googled the shit outta her.... That sounds dirty doesn't it.
Anyway
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you might notice right off the bat that there are some unintended similarities in this set of pictures of Miss Stone and the above picture of Miss Arquette. 
dirty looking blonde + busted ass grille + smoking a cigarette = It seems that there are other things that I dig that I didn't even realize totally. Well Fuck! If she had a scar or a slight limp...... nevermind..... letting too much out there.... Moving On

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From what I've read so far, she is a foreign model who (allegedly) parties like a mother fucker, drinks way too much, does some assorted drugs and acts like a maniac from time to time with her balls out attitude. Well hold the horses there fkrs: Throw in some bi-polarness, a touch of self doubt and some slight Daddy issues and I'm all in!!!! 

That's it for now.... be back later fuckers.






20101028

Daily Lohan news - Threeway sex tape

Rumors of the Lohan in a threesome sextape? Oh say it's so


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From the NYdailynews


As if Lindsay Lohan didn't have enough on her plate.
The troubled starlet is now facing a resurgence of rumors that a sex tape featuring her is circulating on the internet.
This time, the rumor was sparked by a Facebook invite, asking fans to check out Lohan's latest starring role – in a threesome.
The Facebook invitation that has popping up in users' inbox exists in several variations (many misspelling her name), including "This is Lindsey Lohan's Just leaked Celeb Sex Tape," "This is Lindsey Lohan's Having a THREEWAY on Camera," and "Lindsey Having Sex with HOT Girl."
Once users open the invite, the message reads "Do not ask how I got this video. No one has seen this sex tape except for the people invited to this event (And seriously guys…DONT tell anyone that I posted this…ESPECIALLY  anyone in the media!)"
Facebook and Lohan's manager did not immediately return requests for comment.
Lohan's friends tell TMZ you won't see the star naked – at least, not this way. (After all, she is set to go full frontal in her upcoming film Inferno.)
Instead, if you try click on the link, it's likely you'll get a computer virus.
According to her friends, the ‘Mean Girls' actress is aware of the invite and insists no such video exists.
The 24-year-old does have access to a computer in rehab, but whether or not she uses her time to go on Facebook is unclear.
"She only has one hour of internet access per day and she is using this to stay in the loop with her family and friends while trying to do some career stuff too," a source told Radar Online on Thursday. Lindsay has not made any great friends inside the clinic, she is just trying to keep her head down and get on with things."


Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2010/10/28/2010-10-28_lindsay_lohan_in_a_threesome_sex_tape_sketchy_invites_circulate_on_facebook.html#ixzz13gs7Xxfh



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I myself will keep my fingers crossed that it is not a hoax.... 
just saying