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20110730

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unwritten bathroom laws 7 unwritten bathroom laws every man should know
Whether you’re dealing with a piss or a poop, going to the bathroom is a task that is best done comfortably from your private bathroom at home. Unfortunately, the daily need to venture out into the world often means making a pit stop at a public restroom. When in one of these bastions of bowel relief, do yourself and your fellow men a favor and adhere to these seven unwritten bathroom laws.
7 No Talking
bathroom1 135x95 7 unwritten bathroom laws every man should knowLet’s be clear: the men’s restroom is not a good place to make new friends. While the female sex may be more inclined to visit the bathroom in flocks, a trip to the men’s room should be considered a solitary adventure. In general, us guys like to avoid the awkwardness of making eye contact or otherwise acknowledging the existence of anyone else in the room. It doesn’t matter if you want to talk about the hot girls outside in the club or how much you secretly love the show Glee, now is not the time.
6 Eyes Forward
bathroom 11 135x95 7 unwritten bathroom laws every man should knowA wandering eye at a line of urinals is great way to get yourself punched in the face. Sure, there are plenty of innocent reasons to turn your ahead away from the task at hand (cell phone ring, check the time, etc.), but it doesn’t matter. Any guy who sees a stray eye pointed in his direction is automatically going to think you’re sizing him up. So do yourself (and neighbor) a favor and just count those bathroom tiles sitting right in front of your face to pass the time.
5 When Possible, No Urinal Neighbors
bathroom neighbors 135x95 7 unwritten bathroom laws every man should knowSpeaking of neighbors, men should be spaced out as far as humanly possible among available urinals. As such, the only reason someone should be standing right next to me when I’m taking a piss is when there are no other open urinals available. If you’re the only dude in a line of urinals, and some guy comes and unzip right next to you, then I think it’s safe to say you’d feel a bit uncomfortable. Remember that golden rule? Well, apply it liberally when in a public restroom.
4 Courtesy Flush
courtesy flush 135x95 7 unwritten bathroom laws every man should knowThings get a bit messier in the restroom once we enter the bathroom stalls. While not ideal, a public squat session is necessary from time to time. And if it’s taking you some tome to work mid-afternoon burrito out of your system, then be kind to your fellow toilet straddlers and pop off a courtesy flush or two. Because while it may be true that you like the smell of your own farts, I can assure you that the same is not true for anyone else.
3 Check for Feet
bathroom feet 135x95 7 unwritten bathroom laws every man should knowIt’s a fact: sometimes bathroom stall locks are broken. This opens yourself up to a potentially embarrassing possibility of walking in on some dude while he’s doing his business. To avoid this, do the smart thing and check for feet before entering a stall. If the classic foot-check isn’t possible, then open that door with hesitation to give the guy a quick moment to hastily inform you “SOMEONE’S IN HERE!”
2 Don’t Pee on the Toilet Paper
toilet yes no 135x95 7 unwritten bathroom laws every man should knowI really shouldn’t even have to bring this up, but alas, it seems the occasional guy finds this dick move incredibly hilarious. Simply put, don’t pee on the toilet paper. In fact, don’t pee on ANYTHING except that tiny pool of water located at the bottom of the toilet bowl. Yes, I know aim can be a little difficult from time to time, but it’s not all that hard to hit a target from point blank range. And If you do happen to get some piss on the toilet seat, well then wipe it off.
(Addendum: no pooping outside of the bowl either.)
1 Flush Your Deuce
flush 1 135x95 7 unwritten bathroom laws every man should knowI don’t care how proud you are of that brown baby boy you just birthed, it does not need to be preserved for the next guy to see. If you’re really proud of it, take a picture with your phone and show it to your bros, office pals and mom when you get home. Unfortunately, a stranger is less likely to be impressed. As such, flush that fetid mess down to the sewers so the next guy can come in and convince himself that he’s not getting sloppy seconds on this slutty gas station toilet.

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20110727

Update on the Lohan

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20110723

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The Code Of Men

JULY 22, 2011
in LIST
man code
  1. Thou shall not rent Chocolat
  2. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
  3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.
  4. When you are queried by a buddy’s wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence.
  5. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
  6. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50% without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call “Bullshit!” Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400%
  7. If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever.
  8. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who’s running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.
  9. Bitching about the brand of free beer in a buddies refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.
  10. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. (In fact, even remembering a friend’s birthday is strictly optional.)
  11. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.
  12. Before dating a buddies ex, you are required to ask his permission; and he, in return is required to grant it.
  13. Women who claim they “love to watch sports” must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.
  14. If a man’s zipper is down, that’s his problem — you didn’t see nothin’.
  15. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.
  16. Your girlfriend must bond with your buddies’ girlfriends within 30 minutes of meeting them. You are not required to make nice with her gal pals (significant dick-heads — low level sports bonding) is all the law requires.
  17. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who’s playing.
  18. When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiney friend with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if you’ll be able to warn your buddy and give him time prepare excuses about joining the priesthood.
  19. It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you’re sunning on a tropical beach. And it’s delivered by a topless supermodel. And it’s free.
  20. Unless you’re in prison, never fight naked.
  21. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
  22. If a buddy is outnumbered, outmanned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight.Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think “What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin,” you may sit back and enjoy.
  23. Friends don’t let friends wear speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
  24. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while weight lifting: “Yeah, baby, push it!” “C’mon, give me one more!” “Harder!” “Another set and we can hit the showers.” “Nice ass, are you a Sagittarius?”
  25. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That’s just plain mean.
  26. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you’d better be referring to his beer.
  27. Never join your girlfriend/wife in dissing a buddy, except when she’s withholding sex pending your response.
  28. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you’re on equal footing: both urinating, both waiting in line. In all other situations, a nod is all the conversation you need.
  29. If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not join him … too gay.
  30. Before allowing drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he is able to get on his feet, look you in the eye, and deliver a “Fuck off!” You are absolved of your of responsibility.
  31. The morning after you and a babe who was formerly “just a friend” have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you’re feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was.  Source:http://cavemancircus.com/

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20110716


EMBED-Chick Breaks Her Arm While Arm Wrestling - Watch more free videos

Robber who broke into hair salon is beaten by its black-belt owner and kept as a sex slave for three days... fed only Viagra

Last updated at 3:53 PM on 12th July 2011
A Russian man who tried to rob a hair salon ended up as the victim when the female shop owner overpowered him, tied him up naked and then used him as a sex slave for three days. 
Viktor Jasinski, 32, admitted to police that he had gone to the salon in Meshchovsk, Russia, with the intention of robbing it. 
Teaching a lesson: Olga Zajac, 28, allegedly held 32-year-old would-be robber Viktor Jasinski captive for three days in a back room of her hair salon, feeding him Viagra and having sex 'a couple of times'
Teaching a lesson: Olga Zajac, 28, allegedly held 32-year-old would-be robber Viktor Jasinski captive for three days in a back room of her hair salon, feeding him Viagra and having sex 'a couple of times'
But the tables were turned dramatically when he found himself overcome by owner Olga Zajac, 28, who happened to be a black belt in karate.
She allegedly floored the would-be robber with a single kick.
Then, in a scene reminiscent of Quentin Tarantino's Pulp Fiction, police say Zajac dragged the semi-conscious Jasinski to a back room of the salon and tied him up with a hair dryer cable.
She allegedly stripped him naked and, for the next three days, used him as a sex slave to 'teach him a lesson' - force feeding him Viagra to keep the lesson going. 
Life imitating art: The plight of Viktor Jasinski has an odd parallel with the infamous basement scene in Pulp Fiction, starring Ving Rhames
The would-be robber was eventually released, with Zajak saying he had learned his lesson.
Jasinski went straight to the police and told them of his back-room ordeal, saying that he had been held hostage, handcuffed naked to a radiator, and fed nothing but Viagra. 
Both have now been arrested.
When police arrived to question Zahjac, she said: 'What a bastard. Yes, we had sex a couple of times. But I bought him new jeans, gave him food and even gave him 1,000 roubles when he left."


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2013870/Robber-broke-hair-salon-beaten-black-belt-owner-kept-sex-slave-days--fed-Viagra.html#ixzz1SH7ZfUe9



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20110715

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