The Totally Alleged Hulk Hogan Sex Tape... Allegedly

With that title, my ass should be covered.


Every swinging dick in the world is talking about Hulk Hogan sex tape. Why does everyone give a fuck? I have no clue. Say he did know that he was on tape; who cares. Say he didn't know he was on tape; who cares. He's a 59 year old multimillionaire that had sex with his buddies super-hot wife. I can think of a lot worse things that you could be on tape doing. In fact, it's probably a little better than being caught on camera trying to sell your own pasta (Pastamania) when you're supposed to have this big tough manly image going, but that's just my damn opinion.

On this ALLEGED sex-tape, from what I've heard, she talks about how big his dick is. Wow, what a horrible thing. To have a hot chick on tape saying that you have a big dick. This isn't a bad thing. This is good advertisement for the Hulkster. He should be grinning like a goddamn kid with a lollipop.


I would be more upset that there are pictures of
me wearing a leotard while fake-fighting another 
large man.

But that's just my opinion.



Goddamn monkeys

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am not a fan of any monkeys. When I speak of monkeys, I am speaking of the mammals in the simian family; not the crappy pseudo-band from the late 60's. I have never been creeped out by Michael Nesmith (If you don't understand that, Google "Monkees" you asshole). Monkeys have always just been a bit fucked up to me. Sure, it might have started when my Uncle Brian's pet spider monkey attacked me while having my picture taken; but I think that even if that had not have happened, I still wouldn't like the little bastards.

First of all, they are just goddamn creepy looking. Sure, they have opposable thumbs that causes them to be able to do all kinds of humanistic shit; but that also makes them a tad on the fucked up side. These little pricks can be trained to run stuff. They can push buttons, open a banana like a madman, and do some nifty tricks to the delight of others, but they can also do some shit they shouldn't be able to do. These little bastards have been in rockets shot into outer space. Have I been to outer space? No. Mother fucking monkeys have, and that just doesn't sit right with me. These sumbitches have been taught to ride motorcycles, shoot guns and solve problems. THIS IS NOT COOL, PEOPLE. Not at all. Does no one realize that teaching these little fuckers how to do shit is not right? Sure, some people may giggle away as some monkey rides a motorcycle with a poodle on the back. Do they not also realize that you have basically trained this little cocksucker how to operate a motor vehicle and cover more ground with motorized transportation? This might not seem important, but tie that in with teaching one how to fire a weapon leads to the possibility of a goddamn monkey drive-by! That is not something I want to witness.
I won't ramble on about this forever right now, but just remember: these little bastards are smarter than most people think. The more people teach them, the worse off we all are. I'm not eluding to some Planet of the Apes type shit, but these little bastards could be dangerous if they wanted to be. Just be wary and keep one eye on the little fuckers at all times.
If you see two monkeys on a motorcycle, drinking beer and packing a gun... well, then I guess you are fucked and you should of listened to me


Motherfucking Bigfoot


 Does this motherfucker exist?

 Some assholes will tell you "Yes, of course".

 I say "Bullshit".

Some characters will put bullshit like this up http://waltsopinions.blogspot.com/2012/10/blog-post.html to try and lead you people to believe that not only does Bigfoot exist here, but the S.O.B. is on goddamn Mars as well (the guy that put that up, by the way, is a member of the Masonic Lodge, but that is a whole different hoax of craziness that I won't get into right now)

Bigfoot, Sasquatch, the Yeti, and all those other creatures that supposedly lurk in the woods do not exist. They are usually people that are trying to further the myth by doing stupid shit, much like this guy:

Bigfoot hoax ends in death, authorities say

August 28, 2012|By Josh Levs, CNN

"A man trying to create a Bigfoot hoax on a highway died after being hit by two cars, officials in Montana said.
Randy Lee Tenley dressed in a Ghillie suit -- camouflage designed to resemble heavy foliage -- and stepped out onto Highway 93 Sunday night, officials said.
"He probably would not have been very easy to see at all," said Jim Schneider, a state trooper.
A 15-year-old girl hit him with her car, another car swerved, and a third car driven by a 17-year-old ran him over, CNN affiliate KECI reported.

Tenley was "well into the driving lane," and according to his companions he was "attempting to incite a sighting of Bigfoot -- to make people think they had seen a Sasquatch," Schneider said in the KECI report.
But authorities received no calls from drivers thinking they had seen Bigfoot, the station reported.
Officials with Montana Highway Patrol District 6, which includes Flathead County where the incident took place, said Schneider was not available for comment Tuesday and that the official report on the incident had not yet been filed.
The county coroner's office did not immediately return a call from CNN."

You can even go all the way back to the 1960's and assholes were faking Bigfoot sightings:

Patterson Bigfoot
"This is a still from the famous film footage taken by Roger Patterson and Robert Gimlin in 1967 with a 16mm camera while on an expedition to find the elusive creature in the Bluff Creek area of the Six Rivers National Forest in Northern California. Large footprints had been found in this region in previous years."

New Evidence Confirms Patterson-Gimlin Bigfoot Is Fake!

Posted on by  on April 1st, 2009 | 3 Comments »
The alleged letters and photos confirm that a local actor was hired to wear an ape-suit, and there were at least 5 other people present to help shoot the infamous footage.Hot news! A new stash of evidence, including signed letters, photographs and possibly even new film footage, confirms the October 1967 Patterson-Gimlin film of Bigfoot is fake!

The possibility of new footage may also help shed more light on how the whole stunt was done, as it has been suggested that the extra footage contains out-takes, video of the actor, the suit and a crew line-up!
More info on this soon, so stay tuned…

You need more? I can do this all day. Google the shit, it's everywhere, but people for some reason still hold on to some idea that Bigfoot is real. Which makes no damn sense whatsoever. Modern science can discover atoms and molecules, they can discover tiny little microscopic creatures that live on the floor in the deepest parts of the ocean, but they can't find a 7 foot hairy beast that is supposedly roaming all over the forest? BULLSHIT! The weirdos, creepy fuckers and goddamn hipsters need to just chill the fuck out and realize:
This cocksucker called Bigfoot, or whatever name you prefer, doesn't exist. So everybody chill the fuck out, I got this.
















Oh #%&$ Look at You! - watch more funny videos      

It's been up before, but I like it; so.............

Tampex Tampons - watch more funny videos