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20100930

Thursday Bullshit Part 4: Squirrels that jerk off

I'm leaving this one to the professionals and in case you are wondering, I did not run across this on accident while browsing for squirrel porn - I heard about it on the Ellis show (Sirius Satellite Radio)
This is all from ZME Science




The Cape ground squirrel takes sex very seriously. For the males, the scrotum is about 20% of their body length, and the penis is twice as long; if you don’t believe me, this particular image will probably change your mind – but be warned ! It will be burned onto your brain for quite a while.
The squirrel brigade
Thing is, if you’re a male squirrel, you obviously want to make as many little squirrels as you can, so if you want to maximize your chances, you have to make sure it’s your sperm that fertilizes the female eggs (because we all know just how easy female squirrels are). So you make a whole lot of sperm – hence the big… testicles. But if their sperm is so valuable, why would they waste it by choking the chicken masturbating ? And even more interesting, how does a squirrel masturbate ? I’ll let Jane Waterman, an expert (in squirrels, not the other thing), tell you about it:
“An oral masturbation was recorded when a male sat with head lowered and an erect penis in his mouth, being stimulated with both mouth (fellatio) and forepaws (masturbation), while the lower torso moved forward and backwards in thrusting motions, finally culminating in an apparent ejaculation, after which the male appeared to consume the ejaculate.”
In case you didn’t know, lots of mammals masturbate, including primates and rodents. In every case the question remains – why waste the sperm ? The obvious answer is the classic one: males are horny, females aren’t. But there are alternate theories that spark particular interest; one of them suggests that maybe they flush out old sperm to make way for better and faster… cadets. But Waterman has another idea, at least when it comes to Cape ground squirrels; and she should know, after spending two thousand hours spying on them with a pair of binoculars and noting every sexual interaction between them.
Squirrels - they look cute and fluffy, but deep down, they're kinky bastards
Her notes suggest that squirrels masturbate more often when the females are in the mating period, and that dominant ones do it more often than subordinates (now that’s something). What’s even more surprising, those who have had sex do it more often than the unlucky ones; and they do it after sex, which rules out the ‘sperm cleansing’ theory, in which they would do it before. So she concluded that masturbating can’t actually be some sort of signal, it had to be something else.
The conclusion she came to ? It’s an act of self medication. They do it to clean their genitals and thus lower the risk of a sexually transmitted infection. It explains (read this in a crazy scientist voice) EVERYTHING ! They could do it by urinating, but since they live in desert areas, it’s pretty hard to lose water just like that, so masturbating is the next best thing. Now that’s something to ponder while reading squirrel stories to your kid.

Thursday Bullshit Part 3: WHAT THE FUCK?

I have never heard of this person until I ran across a picture that was rather disturbing....

Photo from: holytaco



It was part of a deal about hot girls with older gross dudes (article is HERE on holytaco.com)

This picture shocked me..... I thought to myself : "Self, what the fuck
is going on here?"

Could this be from a movie?

Could this be some alternate universe that we don't know exists?

Could this dude be rich?


So I did what all people do when confronted with any type of conundrum, issue, problem or whatever....
I GOOGLED the shit



Turns out that this busty blonde is Jenna Bentley and she is some type of model (the type that is tall, hot, blonde and has some amazing ....... eyes......) - you can see her stats on modelmayhem.com and she is a wee 21 year old who has also been in Playboy and a bunch of other things.


Photo from: hollywoodtuna




Photo from: starpuppets


Photo from: howwhypedia






Photo from: zimbio


According to zimbio - this lucky bastard is Ben Brown who owns Millionaire Pawn Shops - which answers the question that I previously asked myself....... the fucker's got money..... could be one of my new heroes...... Ben Brown you shall join Jesse James (except for the part where Jesse dates the beast known as Kat Von Dee or whatever the nasty tattooed leftovers of Nikki Sixx and various others or whatever her name is - even though Nikkis is a pimp as well ) in the Pollock Hall of Fame a.k.a. "You, Sir, are a badass" Kudos to you for your contributions to mankind

Thursday Bullshit Part 2

Photo from: ringobingo.net
KATY PERRY HAS BOOBS
















Photo from: golebabe





For the 30 best moments in Katy Perry Cleavage you can go to Manofest by clicking HERE or you can click the other deal. Click whatever the fuck you want.















THE LOHAN NEWS - THURSDAY EDITION - PART 1 

"Lindsay Lohan -- Rehabbin' at Betty Ford"

"TMZ has learned ... Lindsay Lohan is undergoing treatment at the famous Betty Ford Center, a legendary and respected alcohol and drug rehabilitation clinic in Rancho Mirage, California.

0929_lilo_betty_EX_TMZ-01

Lindsay checked in Monday -- and as we previously reported, the plan is for her to stay put in rehab at least until her probation violation hearing on October 22.

It's gonna run Lindsay a pretty penny too -- according to their website, 30 days of inpatient care at BF runs $26,000."
Source: TMZ





EVER WONDER WHAT THE ASSHOLES THAT TAKE THE CELEBRITY PICTURES LOOK LIKE?
AKA
PAPARAZZI ODD DUDE - WOW - DISTURBING LOOKING FUCKER.......

From : celebslam



THE LOHAN NEWS - THURSDAY EDITION - PART 2 (From CELEBSLAM)





"Straight to video" -- Lindsay Lohan needs to get used to hearing that phrase for the next decade or so. From the Chicago Sun Times:
While the producers of "Inferno" have announced the Linda Lovelace film starring Lindsay Lohan  now will be moved to Los Angeles -- to accommodate the actress' stint in rehab and expected return to jail in late October -- it all may be moot.

Several key Hollywood players I spoke with Sunday told me there's little interest in the project about the "Deep Throat" star.

"No one cares about her, or frankly Lindsay either, at this point," said a veteran studio bigshot. "You can sense that this will be a project that will go straight to video, even if it ever really is finished."
You've got to feel sorry for the producers of this movie. Their main star is quarantined in rehab, and the only other person in Hollywood with as much experience deep-throating -- Ricky Martin -- doesn't really fit the part. Of course, once Lindsay is locked up, the film's director will have the perfect location to make the movie Lindsay should have been cast in in the first place: Lesbians Behind Bars, The Prequel.

Thursday Bullshit Part 1

Underground Comedy 2010

I saw a trailer for an upcoming movie this morning while dicking around at my desk and drinking coffee.
It looks fkn crazy and funny and guess what...... ? ?  The Lohan is in this mother fucker as well !!
It's called Underground Comedy 2010 - here's the website and the Official trailer is below thanks to RedBalcony

video


20100929

Random Wednesday stuff

MY FAVORITE HAT
This picture has been around for awhile, but I dig it.... reminds me of several people that I have known in my sordid past.....
From: collegehumor.com



FKN MONKEYS !!!!!


Photo from: thestar


From thestar.com



"NEW DELHI—Trained langur monkeys are being used at the Commonwealth Games to scare off other wildlife including wild monkeys, dogs and even snakes, officials say.
Starting Wednesday, 10 langurs will be put on duty outside Games venues in the Indian capital, with the boxing and hockey stadiums seen as particularly vulnerable to monkey misbehaviour, an official told Agence-France Presse.
Langur monkeys are said to be very intelligent but also aggressive and territorial, making them very effective in keeping other animals away from a given area.
On the other hand, the wild monkeys are feared throughout Delhi, and even attacked the mayor in 2007, causing him to fall from his balcony to his death.
The city has a regular team of 28 langurs in the richer areas of the city, but 10 more have been brought in from the neighbouring state of Rajasthan.
Four of them will be posted outside the boxing complex with their handlers, while another four will patrol the hockey complex, AFP reports. Two are on standby in case of of an emergency."
Now I don't know about you fuckers, but monkeys are not cool at all. Yes, part of my intense hatred for these little bastards is due to a traumatic childhood experience.... BUT - monkeys are not to be toyed with.
Notice in the story - THEY KILLED THE FUCKING MAYOR !!!!!!
Take note people - Monkeys are evil creatures that should be exterminated in little internment camps or however you would like. They are not good at all.




LOHAN FOR THE DAY

A collection of all four of the Lohan's mugshots

Photo from: celebritypuke

ADVERTISING GENIUSES

These people made me want to buy their shit just because of their advertising style.... Not that I could wear any of it nor would I but at least it's made in the USA which is very rare these days of fucking CHINA making everydamnthing we have and use on a daily basis.


The company is American Apparel 
Found these pictures on thebeergoggler












A WHOLE PILE OF WORTHLESS HOLES THAT ARE FAMOUS FOR NO FKN REASON

Photo of Kardashians and the Snook from: celebritypuke

Chilli Dogging - the movie

video

20100928

Pull out ?

Photo from: bitsandbieces

More on the wreck known as Lohan

This is quickly turning in to the Lindsay blog -
Found a deal yesterday where now there are pictures of ALLEGED heroin use and some kissing on that Hilton snatch (not on her snatch - you know what I mean)
X17online put these out
Picture of Lindsay (?) and Paris (?) kissing from : x17online 
Close up of ALLEGED kissing from: x17online
They have some other pictures with ALLEGED syringes and whatnot in the hands of this wreck known as Lohan (?) or someone who looks a dickload like her anyway here

I'm getting really worried about this fucker especially now after seeing MACHETE - The greatest movie of all time - go the official site  and check it out

20100927

Random celebrity shit and other stuff for Monday

That Hayden Panettiere girl that I guess is an actress went to Oktoberfest according to the intranet thing
Here is a picture
Picture from: celebslam



And Lindsay is already out of jail according to Celebslam - says she posted bail and got out last Friday already. This was her latest mugshot.
Photo from: clebslam
But don't forget to go see her in the baddest assed movie EVER - MACHETE !
Here's another pic from this fabulous epic motion picture (make sure to check out my earlier blog about that fkn cool movie)

Photo from: bloggarut

Also - Katy Perry got part of her shit taken off Sesame St cuz they claimed her boobs were too prominent.
Photo from: cbsnews
Doesn't it look like that lil Elmo fucker is checking them out? 


Now, some random pictures of girls grabbing other girl's boobs from DJMicks - check the site out for even more












And the fkn Longhorns lost to the homos of UCLA 34-12
Photo from: sports.popcrunch.com

but my Aggies (who are 3-0 and sure they have only played shitty schools, but being an Aggie fan these days you gotta take what you can get) were off - they're playin on Thursday @ Oklahoma State

Picture from: hottestcollegeinamerica
AND SOME FINAL RANDOM BULLSHIT YOU CAN CHECK OUT FOR YOUR DAMN SELF:

  • If you care - there might be an Arnold Schwartzawhatever sex tape - click here for that story.
  • There are some ALLEGED photos of Lindsay and Paris making out and doing heroin - click here
  • Some asshole filmed the emergency landing of the plane they were on - click here
  • My man Artie Lange was out and about finally after trying to kill himself late last year - click here
  • And finally - the guy that owns the Segway company died after driving his Segway off a fucking cliff - click here for that ironic bullshit
That's it for today.
Later Bitches!


Passed out chick collection

DJMick has a collection of passed out drunk chicks - here are a few for your enjoyment (all pics courtesy of that website) - There are a dickload more on their website if you wanna check em out









Top college cheerleaders / fan base

The bleacherreport ranked 120 of the hottest college cheerleader / fan base groups. (all photos below are from that website)

My Aggies came in 27th - but damn sure should have been higher - fkrs

 LSU was 8th


  Indiana in 5th

 FSU in 4th

 UT came in 3rd


Ole Miss came in 2nd but she was pretty lame so I left her out


 and ASU came in 1st









You're welcome

Machete is the Greatest Fkn movie of all time !!!!


Went and saw Machete last night...... it is possibly one of the greatest fkn movies of all time. 
Let's run this bitch down slightly with some highlights:

Robert DeNiro is a senator who shoots wetbacks at night with Don Johnson = FKN COOL
Crazy killing bullshit with big knives = ALWAYS BADASS
Hot nurses with machine guns = SPEAKS FOR ITSELF
Michelle Rodriguez with an eyepatch = EVEN COOLER
A pudgy Seagal who speaks shitty spanish = RETRO PIMP
Lindsay Lohan + topless + also dressed as a nun with a gun = FKN SWEET
Lowrider cars with hydraulics that can shoot missiles out of the hood = IT DOESN'T GET ANY BETTER
Cheech as a priest with shotguns = HELL YES

Robert Rodriguez always puts out some cool shit, but this fkn movie kicked ass. 

This is a MAN movie people - see it if you have testicles, fkn girls probably won't like it but who gives a shit what they think?




Machete - Trailer #2
Uploaded by ohmygore. - Watch feature films and entire TV shows.




From: reelthinker

From: reelthinker
Photo from: reelthinker
From: gotceleb


From: keepingitreel




From: keepingitreel


 



From: keeping it reel






Photo from: filmjunk
Photo from: movies.about


Photo from: geektyrant




Photo from: pajiba
Photo from: filmofilia








Photo from: filmdrunk
Photo from: buzzfeed

Photo from: screencrave